A Healthy Relationship

Our Story: Redefining What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like

As a society, we’ve been fed a distorted narrative about what constitutes a healthy relationship. The fairy tales and romantic comedies often portray a picture of perpetual bliss, free from conflict or struggle. However, the reality is much richer and more complex. A truly healthy relationship is one that not only withstands challenges but grows stronger because of them. It’s a dynamic space where both partners hold space for each other’s demons, understanding that unconditional love can reveal both the best and worst in a person. Our journey as a couple has taught us invaluable lessons about what it truly means to love and grow together.

The Myth of Perpetual Harmony

From a young age, we are conditioned to believe that true love is synonymous with eternal harmony. Disagreements and struggles are often portrayed as signs of a failing relationship, rather than opportunities for growth. However, this notion is far from the truth. Our relationship has shown us that facing challenges together, and coming out stronger on the other side, is a hallmark of a deep and enduring love.

Holding Space for Each Other’s Demons

A healthy relationship is not devoid of conflict; it is one where both partners feel safe to express their deepest fears and insecurities. It doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect, but rather understanding that sometimes, when a person is overwhelmed by their emotions, they might not be at their best. This is not a reflection of how they feel about their partner but a manifestation of their past wounds and triggers.

In our relationship, we’ve learned to recognize these moments and hold space for each other’s healing. When one of us is triggered by an argument or a specific situation, we remind ourselves that there is often a deeper reason behind the intense emotion. By allowing each other to bring past pain into the present, we facilitate healing and growth.

Our Guiding Principles

Throughout our journey, we’ve adopted two guiding principles that have been instrumental in maintaining our bond:

1. "I loved you before, and I will still love you after." This mantra serves as a reminder that love is not contingent on the absence of conflict. Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but they don’t diminish the love we share. By affirming our commitment to each other, even in the heat of an argument, we reinforce the foundation of our relationship.

2. "Would this matter if you were dead?" While this may sound extreme, it’s a powerful tool for putting things into perspective. When faced with a disagreement, asking ourselves this question helps us to refocus on what truly matters. It’s a reminder of the preciousness of life and the gift of sharing it with someone we love. This perspective helps us to let go of trivial issues and appreciate the present moment.

Growing Stronger Together

Our relationship hasn’t always been easy, but the challenges we’ve faced have only strengthened our love. We’ve learned that a healthy relationship is not defined by the absence of struggle, but by the willingness to face it together. By holding space for each other’s past fears and insecurities, we’ve created a safe and loving environment where both of us can grow and heal in the present moment.

In the end, the fairy tale of eternal bliss pales in comparison to the reality of a relationship that grows through adversity. Our story is a testament to the power of unconditional love, understanding, and the commitment to stand by each other, no matter what. Through our journey, we’ve discovered that true love is not about never seeing the worst in each other, but about choosing to love each other even when we do. And that, perhaps, is the most beautiful story of all.